Disabled microaggressions - the patronising compliment

 There is an easy read, an infographic and translations at the bottom.

So people will commonly say things like 'You've done so well with everything you have to cope with' or 'look what you've achieved'.  Maybe you've had a disabled work colleague and you've thought that managing their disability and doing their job as they do, they have done really well and are an inspiration - and may have told them so.  But this in fact can be patronising or even insulting.

Let me give an example - I was having counselling, and I was trying to explain why things were just not enough for me, why I was really unhappy with my job and immensely frustrated by the fact that I seemed to be getting nowhere applying for new ones due to my disabilities.  The counsellor said that (not necessarily in these exactly words) 'look at everything I'd achieved given my background' and 'I'd done really well for myself'.

I'm sorry, but why should I expect less from life, to achieve less, not to be able to reach my dreams, to be content with less, and to think that I'd done 'really well' for myself, simply because I'm disabled?  It was well intended - but actually, it shows a microaggression (subtle or unconscious prejudice) towards disabled people - that they should be happy with less.  If you want to compliment a disabled colleague or feel they deserve one - compliment their work if they are doing a good job, same as you would any other colleague.

Easy read

- People often give disabled people well meaning, but patronising compliments

- For example, a counsellor once said to me to look at all I'd achieved given my background and hadn't I done well for myself

- But why should I as a disabled person expect to achieve or be content with less, to think that this was doing 'really well'?

- This is in fact a microaggression (subtle or unconscious prejudice) towards disabled disabled people - that they should be happy with less

Mandarin Chinese

• Renmen changchang hui gei canjiren yi xie chushi hao yi, dan que rang ren gan dao shangren he gaowei de zanmei.

• Li ru, yi wei xinli zixunshi cengjing dui wo shuo, kan kan ni zai zheyang de chushen beijing xia qude le zheme duo chengji, ni bu shi zuo de hen hao ma?

• Dan shi, weishenme zuowei yi ge canjiren, wo jiu yinggai yuqi zi ji zhi neng qude jiaoshi de chengji, huo zhe manyu yu geng shao de chengji, bing renwei zhe yi jing shi “zuo de feichang hao” le ne?

• Shiji shang, zhe shi dui canjiren de yi zhong wei xiao qinfan (wei xiao de huo wuyi shi de pianjian) —— ta anshi renmen renwei canjiren yinggai dui geng shao de chengji gan dao manyi.

Hindi

• Log aksar divyang logon ko achchhe irade se, lekin sanrakshak aur neecha dikhane wale tareeke se tareef karte hain.

• Udaharan ke liye, ek counsellor ne ek baar mujhse kaha tha ki apni prishthbhoomi ko dekhte hue maine jo kuchh haasil kiya hai, use dekho — kya maine apne liye bahut achchha nahi kiya?

• Lekin ek divyang vyakti ke roop mein mujhe yeh kyun ummeed karni chahiye ki main kam haasil karungi ya kam mein hi santusht rahungi, aur yeh sochungi ki maine “bahut achchha” kiya hai?

• Vastav mein, yeh divyang logon ke prati ek microaggression (sookshm ya anjaane mein kiya gaya pakshpaat) hai — yeh soch ki unhe kam mein hi khush rehna chahiye.

Spanish

• A menudo, las personas hacen cumplidos bien intencionados a las personas con discapacidad, pero estos pueden resultar condescendientes.

• Por ejemplo, una vez un orientador me dijo que mirara todo lo que había conseguido teniendo en cuenta mis antecedentes, y que no había hecho muy bien las cosas para mí misma.

• Pero, como persona con discapacidad, ¿por qué debería esperar conseguir menos o conformarme con menos, y pensar que eso significa que lo he hecho “realmente bien”?

• En realidad, esto es una microagresión (un prejuicio sutil o inconsciente) hacia las personas con discapacidad: la idea de que deberían conformarse con menos.