Hypervigilance

There is not easy read at the bottom of the post as it is a short post anyway.

What is Hypervigilance?  It's a state of heightened alertness where the body and mind are in alarm mode constantly scanning for threats even when there is no logical reason to think there would be one.  It's a flight response (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) - you're preparing to run.

How does it manifest?  Well for me, if I'm not completely dissociated from the world around me, then there's a good chance I'm in this state.  The tiniest unexpected sound will make my heart jump out of my chest.  When I'm walking home in the dark at night, every sense is on hyper alert - I'm looking around me like I'm an owl, with it's 360 degree rotating head, scanning for prey.  

At night, I cannot sleep until the early hours even with sleeping tablets on board.  And then the sleep is extremely light - it's like sleeping with one ear and eye open.  Again the slightest noise and I'm awake - usually 3-4 times a night.  So, you could begin to see why dissociating may look like an appealing option (even though this isn't a choice either).

Because you're constantly scanning for threats, this can make you overthink things a lot (one of the reasons I cannot get to sleep.  It also makes you second guess yourself, be mistrustful of people and be quite paranoid.  Your levels of anxiety are also constantly high - like you are waiting for a bomb to go off, you just don't know where or when it's going to happen so you're going to always be prepared.